Monday

SMS QUOTES (One)

It's no accident that stressed spelled backwards is desserts.

I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.

I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.

You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.

I wonder if you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check

Just because you're paranoid, it doesn't mean they're NOT out to get you.

Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will whiz on your computer.

Do chickens think rubber humans are funny?

My Reality Check bounced.

Minds are like Parachutes. They work best when open.

Lightyears ahead! Just a phonecall away!

Very funny Scotty. Now beam up my clothes.

There cannot be a crisis today; my schedule is already full.

What do you call a handcuffed man?
- Trustworthy.

Borrow money from pessimists--they don't expect it back

As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing


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