You have the ones that think and you have the ones that do things. The worst kind are those who think that they are doing things.
You used to be so ugly that your mother had to tie a steak around your neck, otherwise even the dog would not play with you
You should know what it takes to look this cheap!
You will have to cut back on your sex live. What part will you leave out, talking about it or thinking about it?
You with your beautiful eyes, you with your nice hair, you with your fantastic body ... o, sorry, wrong number
Your provider adjusted his rates. The rate is determined by the length of your genitalia, the shorter they are, the less you pay. You can telephone for free from now on!
You’d better not be a dayfly and not having your day.
A man can kiss his wife goodbye. A flower can kiss a butterfly.Wine can kiss a frosted glass.But u my friend can kiss my ass!
Hey can u do me a favour, take a pic of urself n send me it, i'm playin cards n i'm missin the joker!!
Hey friend remember dat without stupidity there can be no wisdom & without ugliness there can be no beauty… so the world needs YOU after all!
i tried to call you from a payphone last night. i put my doner card in by mistake, it cost me an arm and a leg!
Jesus says to John come forth ill give you eternal life. John came fifth he won a toaster
A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home
i want u 2 know dat our friendship means alot 2 me.U cry i cry.U lauf i lauf.U jump out of da window... I look down & den... i lauf again
At dis moment in time 10 million people r having sex.5 million people r drinking coffee.100 million people r sleeping & 1 stupid fool is reading my text!pass on
The rain makes all things beautiful.The grass & flowers 2. If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn’t it rain on you?
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