What do you call a Lada/Skoda at the top of a hill? A miracle.
Whats the definitoin of suspicion? A nun doing pressups in a cucumber field.
Whits pink, wrinkled and hangs oot yer trousers??? Yer Gran!
What are 3 words you never wanna hear whilst making love? Honey, I'm home!
Why doesn't Jesus eat M and M's? Cos they fall through his hands.
What do you get when you cross ESP with PMS? A bitch who knows everything.
How do you save a man from drowning? Take yer foot of his head.
Q: How many men does it take to change a toilet roll?
A: We don't know. Never happens.
Q: Why was the leper caught speeding?
A: He couldn't take his foot of the accelerator.
Q: What do you get when you cross a computer with a whore?
A: An f****ing know it all.
A chicken sandwidch walked into the bar, ordered some food and beer. The bartender says: "Sorry, we don't serve food here".
I've got the ship, you've got the harbor ... what say we tie up for the night?
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.
Why'd the couple stop after 3 children? Cos they heard every fourth child born is chinese.
What did the drummer get on his IQ test? Drool...
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