ALGEBRA: A weapon of math destruction.
Do you ever notice that when you're driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac?
Don't spend $2 to dry-clean a shirt. Donate it to the Salvation Army instead. They'll clean it, put it on a hanger. Next morn buy it back for 50p.
Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO?
A: There have been sightings of UFOs.
A 3-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and says:
"I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
Q:What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?
A:About 45 pounds!!
I think drinking and driving is terrible. You always spill it when you change gears...
There ws this Eskimo chick who spent the night with her boyfriend. Next morning she found out she was 6 months pregnant.
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
How do you breathe through that thing?
What happened when the Pope went to
Popeye beat the crap outta him.
I've used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.
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